the first post of the new year.
i’m not really a “get all nostalgic about the passing of 3 and half hundred days” person. i’m much too busy obsessively checking pinterest.. but i will say, i got more “made” in the last 2 weeks than I have in the last 4 months. which is sad but still fulfilling.
We randomly bumped into old school friends while at an out of town target today. i immediately recognized how bad of a friend i have been the last 4 months to about everyone…including my husband. all of my mind and body has been owned by school, thoughts of school, school work, planning for school, school related events and all things …..school. i suppose my new years resolution is to NOT let school run my life anymore. to be a more “present” person in all aspects of my life, particularly in the ways of friendship and putting forth more effort. i’m optimistic. even though i havent done a stitch of planning for what cycle begins in a mere 12 hours.. i supposed I’ll survive. as i always do. my students will survive, as they always do.
in 2012, i WILL find the balance. the balance to work a 15 hour day and still make it to the gym that i pay a monthly fee for.. the balance to make 20 measely minutes for myself each day to just sit in silence…the balance of momhood, wifehood, teacherhood, friendhood and honesty…the balance to let roll what needs to fall and hold close those things that will drift away qiuckly…the balance to be ok with staying put even if it means just being ok with the balance of it all.. the balance to have the courage to be true to myself and still be successful…the balance of working and working; building a home, building a classroom community, building a brand and building a sustainable future…
on a not so positive note, i had to call the police on my neighbors yesterday. we all too often hear them fighting, bodies thrown against walls, dogs kicked across rooms, small girls witnessing too many terrible words between parents. and yesterday i just couldnt take any more. theres a civic responsibilty that i hold, legally and consciously requiring me to protect those that cant protect themselves. so after hearing the “mom” scream the F word at the “dad” over and over and the dog yelping and the walls banging, i called the non emergency number and left a complaint. i can only assume a patrol car came out, i saw one out the window driving the culdesac, and it quieted down through the walls. i was sad. and a bit scared. but mostly just sad. sad that the little girl has to deal with that. sad that my own little girl has to hear it muffled through sheet rock. and though i know it was the truly right thing to do. i still feel guilty. like i should mind my own business. but like adam says, having a peaceful home IS our business and our kid should NOT be subjected to that..
well. i suppose its back to making lunches.
i promise i’ll post pics to upload to pinterest of all the wonderful work i made this month…the balance will find its way.