Monthly Archives: June 2011

hart bloemblaadjes ontvouwen in zachte sneeuw

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the travel bug has struck hard once again.

 

the passing of my great grandfather has left me wanting to cover his land. find his windmill and pluck one of his tulips. i feel like i owe it to my heart and his honor to visit his homeland, and in turn spend time with our overseas friends. if i’m going to europe i cant leave out an inch of curiosity. plus it has just been too long since we saw the Marianek family. they have visited so often (in relativity to the ungodly price off international airfare) and i know they would be smitten if we came to their home. i know that i have less reservation than adam when it comes to international travel. you buy a ticket you get on a plane youre there.

 

its his financial practicality that drums sweet dollared sirens in my ear. “why dont you clean this house instead of planning how to spend our money”.

 

on another note, many new pieces fashioned this week. busted some crafting ass yesterday, waiting now for my parents to bring their tits camera next week so i can document and “get that shit up” on my shop.

 

but the quiet lull of nautical air and international mystery beckons my heart strings. i really need to relive this life as a student abroad. that lives on a trust fund..

 

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why on earth are some people so dumb.

 

if you are a professional trying to “sell” a client to someone…don’t describe them as abrasive OR that it will be like an interrogation than an interview. note of advice: that doesnt make any one feel good about making deals with you OR them..

 

giada di laurantiis is obnoxious. the only reason she can survive on television is the general region between her throat and her navel…

 

even fabric therapy cant turn this attitude around..need ohm.

 

 

crypticism is the new exorcism

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our life is like a war torn country right now. just when the dust settles another rumble of opportunity and disappointment is on the horizon. i know that my troubles are incredibly insignificant to those ACTUALLY in a war torn nation, or even those battling illness and loss. its just hard to see the good when the going gets tough.

 

the prospect of being homeless makes things a challenge again. We moved here in a rush, taking any living quarters we could get in mid february. now, assuming we would find alot more places for rent in the summer months, we find a place, its gone, a new place, too much money, a differently apathetic place that might work..the cycle continues minute by minute. needless to say i wont be living in the “deer head” home..

 

these days make me miss my dad the most. i just need a problem solver. a superhero to show up and fix it. i know its all part of being an adult. but adulthood is passing me on the left at a swift pace.

summer storms

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the midwest has an affinity for weird summer weather patterns.

this is turn makes me insane. not only does the random heat of 90+ degrees to the next day of 57degrees drive me bananas, but the constant changes in barometric pressure wreak havoc on my already compromised spine…

 

it must be the shifting winds or stumbling upon pictures from almost an exact year ago, but i am reminded of some personal goals i set for myself in the not so distant past. goals i am not exerting enough energy into fulfilling.

 

as with any woman of this generation, i daily compare myself to those i pass on the street, glance in photos or mirror in television. i read blog after blog about teaching, crafting and creating and then happen upon a photo of the author. some anonymous mother floating in the same continent as me, bearing a beautiful  mane and thin frame. are all writers so posh? i know i am not. so i guess i am not a writer.

 

in trying to lead an example to my daughter and my students of becoming more self aware, more confident and more intelligent, i lose the courage to face myself, full frontal, and focus on my own needs. how is this cured?

scorch

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battling summer heat is something i hate doing.

though i like being “warm”, especially in the dead of WI winters, you can ALWAYS put more clothes on..you can only take so much off and STILL be sweltering.

 

we are still in the process of finding somewhere to live, hoping we can ditch this sardine can apartment, find reasonable rent, make Makena’lei’s summer a blast, keep cool and budget. oh yeah, and making time for creations.

 

i’ve “reassembled” the living room, ie finally put away all the furniture and junk from the birthday party 1 month ago.. so there is NO excuse to not get my but in gear and start making something. I’ve got boat loads of ideas and reasons to assemble, but the life of a Potty Trainer is endless and just when i think ive got that chance, theres more pee on the floor…